Life Coaching with Tereasa Jones - Navigate the World of Relationships

Life Coaching with Tereasa Jones - Navigate the World of Relationships

Tereasa Jones

Galentine, Valentine, Selfentine?


Do you cringe when you think about Valentine’s Day? It’s okay. Many, even in healthy relationships, don’t love the pressure the holiday can bring. Roses, fancy dinner, romantic card? For singles, the day can be a reminder that they haven’t found a match or renews pain over a recent break-up. 

While Valentine’s Day likely hailed from a drunken fertility feast called Lupercalia in ancient Rome, it became much sweeter over time and morphed into what it is today thanks to Hallmark back in 1913 in their effort to get lovebirds to buy their cards instead of the traditional homemade cards that had been around since the Middle Ages. With the commercialization of Valentine’s Day, it seems every industry tries to capitalize on it, making the holiday sales top around $18 billion this year. Yes, that’s with a “b”.

Then there’s Galentine’s Day, which started based on the character Leslie Knope from Parks and Rec back in 2010 celebrating female friendship on Feb. 13th. Brands were quick to jump on this unofficial holiday as well. As a friendship coach, I love the idea of honoring your friends this week. Research shows that those with close friendships are happier and even live longer!

And yet…what if you are an introvert or you just don’t really want to celebrate by going out or having a bunch of people in?  My brilliant, lovely daughter, Jessica, who shares a lot of my introvertedness (new word!) gave me this idea about celebrating “Selfentine’s Day.” Those who are single celebrate “Single Awareness Day”(SAD, which isn’t an uplifting acronym, is it?) in lieu of Valentine’s and use the day as a treat yourself day, which is great, but the nice thing is you don’t have to be single to celebrate Selfentine’s Day! It’s a day to empower yourself to gift and give yourself the kind of day you would like, putting no pressure on a mate if you have one, or girlfriends – just you!

It might look like one of my favorite topics; extreme self-care. We each have our own preferences but here are some ideas to get you started.

  • Start this special day with treating yourself to a massage. Make it a good one, maybe splurge on a spa day.  You could add a facial, get your nails done, spend some time in the sauna or ice room.  Whatever you enjoy! (Even better you don’t have to make the day fall on Valentine’s Day – schedule it for Saturday or Sunday to give yourself more free time!)
  • Prepare your favorite dinner and set the table complete with candles and fancy dishes. Add soft music in the background and you have yourself a very nurturing environment for your Selfentine’s dinner. Take your time eating. Savor every bite.
  • Read a book for pleasure. Put away all those books and articles you’ve saved up for work, they are for another time. Find a nice comfy place to sit, with your favorite throw or blanket nearby, maybe a cup of tea or your favorite beverage, and indulge! Let yourself be swept away in the story you are reading – phone in another room so as not to get distracted.
  • Find a movie on Netflix or your favorite channel – guilty pleasure viewing. Put on your comfy PJs, stock your coffee table with Godiva and wine or buttery popcorn. Don’t hold back.
  • If the weather is cold where you live, build a fire in your fireplace, put some music on, and have a dance party in your living room! Crank. It. Up.
  • If the weather is warm where you live, go on a nature walk, breathe in the fresh air. Notice the wildlife and the landscape. Allow yourself to feel, really feel the appreciation for all that you are and all that you have.

As a life coach, the place that I begin is with YOU, the individual. Your dreams. Your personality. Your passions. It’s up to you! You can opt out of a holiday or even celebrate all three – Galentine’s, Valentine’s and Selftine’s. I’d love to see you share your activities with a fun post on Instagram with the hashtags #loveyourselfie and #selfentine. Remember to tag @coachedliving so I’ll find it easily. I’ll pick a winner on Feb. 15th to win a $10 Starbucks gift card.

They all begin in the same place – loving yourself first.  No matter which one you are celebrating, be sure to make it special. If you’d like to learn more about working with a life coach to navigate the journeys through love (all sorts), friendship and careers, contact me to find out more about one-on-one coaching and group coaching.

Happy LOVE Week!


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Making Friends: Is it Enough to Just “Show Up”?


When we were kids, making friends was so much easier. All you had to do was showup. Just going outside to play, you were guaranteed friends. Showing up on the playground at recess meant you would be able to join a tetherball game or mess around on the monkey bars. So why does it have to be so hard now? Could it be you stopped showing up?

Where is this new gathering place for adults? Where is it that you can go to “just show up”?  It could be as easy as taking a walk with your dog. After all, you will most likely encounter other dog walkers. It could be just showing up at the yoga studio or gym. There would most certainly be other people there with whom you could exchange a few words. What about that class you saw advertised online that you thought would be fun? Chances are other like-minded people would also find it to be fun. There are literally hundreds of places we could go and just “show up”. But is it really all that easy now that you are all grown up?

The short answer is “no”. It isn’t easy. It takes some effort on your part. I could easily create a list for you of “things you need to do” to take it to the next level, but I’m doubtful it would do much good. The issues are more inside of us than they are outside of us. We need a strong foundation, an understanding of how our minds are working before we venture out into the friend world to find “that perfect friend”.

Here is the question: can any one person really fulfill all of these requirements? It’s doubtful. I think we need a “community” of people who are friends at different levels to support us. When we don’t have this, life gets hard and feels lonely.  When “just showing up” isn’t enough, I can help. Are you ready to start on this friendship journey? This is the journey we take in Friendship Coaching. When you are ready, I’ll be waiting. I would love to guide you along the journey of finding the friends in your life where there can be mutual support, respect, and love.


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New Year, New Start: How to Form More Friendships with ADD/ADHD


New Year New Start - How to Make More Friendships with ADD/ADHD

You know what I really love about the new year? It’s a brand new start. It’s a clean slate! No matter the difficulties you had last year, January 1st gives you the perfect date to start again and try new strategies and techniques to make the upcoming year the best it possibly can be.

If you have ADD/ADHD, a worthwhile goal for the new year might be to start building new friendships and expand your social circle. Having a number of good friends can be a wonderful resource to help you better manage your ADD/ADHD. A solid support system of family and friends can boost us up when we feel down and give us the help we may sometimes need to get through difficult times. Basically, friends can make us happy, and that is what really makes life worth living.

So, the million dollar question is, how can we form new friendships in the new year when we have ADD/ADHD?

Reaching Out to New People

Half of the battle of making new friends is meeting new people, and this can be a struggle for everyone, ADD/ADHD or not.

Getting out to public social events can require a lot of energy, let alone the energy required to meet random strangers and engage them in conversation. In this kind of a situation, the internet can be a lifesaver. There are tons of Facebook groups that are entirely focused on developing new friendships. If you find one for your area, you might be able to connect with others who are looking to expand their social circle. Just be sure to properly vet the group, and anyone you talk to on there, first. Closed groups that require permission from the admins to join are probably your best bet here.

You could also look into clubs and societies in your area that involve pastimes that you love. If you enjoy board games, you might be able to find a monthly event where strangers get together to play some. If you think that a ADD/ADHD support group might help you meet others who share in your difficulties and develop new friendships, check online for some in your area.

Still in School?

For those in post-secondary institutions, the new year can be a great chance to renew and strengthen those friendships you made in your first semester.

Dorm life can be tricky when you have ADD/ADHD. If you didn’t get an opportunity to get to know those on your floor over the course of your first semester, post-holidays is a great time to do so. You already have a perfect conversation opener, “What did you get up to over the holidays?”

Joining clubs or other organizations is even easier when you are in university or college. Simply check online, or go to a gathering place like the library, and take a look around. You can usually find flyers, brochures, and other advertisements for a variety of clubs and other opportunities for social gatherings. Just make sure you do some research on these groups before you join, to make sure that it will be a good fit.

Explain Your Condition to Your Friends

A lot of the difficulties that face those with ADD/ADHD is a lack of understanding of the condition. Everyone out there THINKS they know what ADD and ADHD are. Most of them don’t have a clue. This can put a lot of stress on friendships if the other person simply doesn’t understand the symptoms you are managing on a daily basis.

Perhaps explain to them that ADD and ADHD aren’t the same thing. Yes, they are similar conditions, but they can manifest in different ways. Make sure you map out exactly what you are going to say, maybe write it out on paper first. You should address the stereotypes of ADD/ADHD ASAP, to let your friends know exactly how ADD/ADHD affects you and how it doesn’t. You probably don’t want to “lead” with this when forming a new friendship, but once you get to know the other person better, sharing this kind of thing with them might strengthen a bond between you.

Schedule Friendship Time

It can be difficult to “find” the time to spend with friends. For those with ADD/ADHD, a spur of the moment hangout might not be an option.

If you have a calendar on your wall, or a planner on your desk, take care to schedule friend-time on days when you haven’t already expended your energy or another project or social engagement. The more planning you put into a hangout, the more comfortable you might feel once it starts.

Friendship Coaching

The bottom line is this, forming friendships can be hard. When you move to a new community, or start a new school, or simply lack a social circle in your area, you might not know how to form these kind of connections. That’s what Friendship Coaching is for. In my Friendship Coaching program, I help you take stock of where you are right now in terms of your friendships and where you want to be. I can guide you to figure out exactly what you want out of a friendship and how to improve your current relationships.

As an experienced ADD/ADHD coach, I know the difficulties some have with developing strong relationships with others. They might feel as if their condition is standing in their way, or they simply don’t know how to reach out and meet new people. If you’d like to start this year off right, with the aim to develop stronger relationships with your friends, please feel free to contact me today.

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Happy New Year: ADHD/ADD Goals for the Upcoming Year


Happy New Year: ADHD/ADD Resolutions for the Upcoming Year

Happy New Year, almost!

The beginning of a brand new year is a blank slate, it’s a chance to start again! That’s why people make New Year’s Resolutions, because they want to make big changes in their lives. But the reality is that new year’s resolutions are rarely successful and are usually forgotten about by the middle of February. Why is this?

When most people come up with a New Year’s Resolution, more often than not, it is more of a wish that a goal. “I want to lose 15 lbs!” OK, how? “I want to double my income!” Right, by doing what exactly? Instead of resolving to take action to improve their lives, they just resolve to “do it” without a plan. They don’t bother to develop new habits and routines, they just sort of expect things to change by themselves. And, as someone who has ADD/ADHD, you know that if you want things to change, you have to work at them!

New Year’s Resolutions for sufferers of ADD/ADHD can be sources of stress and frustration, especially if you make one that is too ambitious. You might enter into the year with good intentions, but soon lose track of your resolution, just like everyone else does. So, instead of talking about resolutions, let’s talk about goals and the steps you need to take to reach them. Here are a few possible ADD/ADHD goals and strategies for the new year that, with work and effort, you can really change the quality of your life for the better!

Improve Your Sense of Time

It can be so easy to lose track of time when you have ADD/ADHD. You might get hyper-focused on a task and later discover that you were late for an appointment. Or you might simply lose track of time throughout the day because you are lacking a focused schedule. Whatever the reason, there are steps you can take in the new year to help improve your sense of time.

If you find yourself struggling to get ready for work, try to get up just a little earlier each morning. Even 15 minutes can make a huge difference. You actually have a little bit of help with this one, your morning alarm. Just set it to go off 15 minutes early every day!

Speaking of alarms, they can be very useful to keep you on track throughout the day. If you need to be at an appointment, set a reminder or alarm on your phone to go off with plenty of warning. Put alarms and reminders into your phone for your entire daily schedule. Basically, you will be just “outsourcing” your sense of time to your smartphone.

Start Keeping Track of Your Day

One thing that can be very helpful for those with ADD/ADHD is to keep track over what they did that day. Yes, “did”, as in past tense. This fits into the category of “gathering data”. It can be very helpful and enlightening to see what you’ve actually accomplished over the course of the average day. It might be more than you think!

If you look back and think, “Gee, I did nothing today…”, don’t beat yourself up. Take that newfound knowledge into tomorrow with an eye on how to improve on it. Compare your daily “to-do” list to your “finished” list, move items around, see when certain tasks are more likely to get done at certain points during the day. For example, you might discover that you prefer to do your laundry at night rather than the day. Maybe you will find that you tend to do the dishes in the morning, rather than the afternoon. By gathering data about your ADD/ADHD habits, you can start to see patterns of behavior that, when acknowledged, can be adapted and improved upon.

Get Help

This might seem like a fairly vague goal, almost a “resolution”, but if you aren’t already getting help, finding some can be one of the most important changes you can make in the new year.

Trying to tackle a condition like ADD/ADHD by yourself can be difficult, to put it mildly. Your symptoms and reactions can make you feel isolated, like you are different from other people. You might trouble forming lasting relationships with other people, romantically or platonically. Or maybe your current relationship is suffering because of your symptoms. This can further isolate you and keep you from seeking the help that you may need to better manage your symptoms or your emotional and mental state.

Help can take the form of an ADD/ADHD coach, a medical professional, a family member, or a friend. Sometimes, one can be the gateway to another. If you contacted me, for example, and we started talking about your ADD/ADHD symptoms and management strategies, I might direct you to talk to your family about some things that they can do to help you every day. I might suggest that you go to see a medical professional about getting some medication to better manage your symptoms. By just seeking out help from one person, you could start to develop an entire network of support.

You may also want to investigate joining an ADD/ADHD support group in your local area or online. By meeting others who suffer from the same condition, even if your exact symptoms are a bit different, you might discover a wider community of people and support that can help carry you through the new year and beyond.


Even if you don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions, January 1st is still a great starting place to make real, lasting changes to your life and outlook. As an experienced ADD/ADHD coach, I’ve helped many with ADD/ADHD develop concrete goals for their future and make some real, positive changes to their lives. If you’d like to talk about some other ways you can change your life for the better in the new year, please feel free to contact me.

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The Challenges of ADHD/ADD Over the Holidays


The Challenges of ADHD/ADD Over the Holidays

Happy holidays to everyone out there!

So many people just can’t wait for this time of year. Many call it a winter vacation, even though there is usually very little relaxation associated with it. Indeed, for some, the holidays can be one of the most stressful times of the year. There is just so much to do, especially if your focus is being pulled in a hundred different directions by your ADD/ADHD. You need to find and buy presents for friends, decorate your home, send out cards, prepare meals, attend parties, get ready to see your family, and finish all of your work before the big day hits. That can be a heck of a lot of stress for anyone, let alone someone with ADD/ADHD. The really sad part about this is that the holidays are supposed to be fun! It’s a time of celebration of family and friends! So the question becomes, how can you manage your ADD/ADHD to effectively navigate the stressful challenges of the holidays?

Create a Holiday Schedule

Creating schedules and to-do lists are powerful strategies that many with ADD/ADHD use on a daily basis to help manage their lives. Schedules can give your day structure, it’s basically a road map to get you through everything that needs to be done.

At the beginning of December (or even earlier), create a schedule that you can follow over the next month, right up until New Year’s. Your schedule should be flexible to allow for bad days and unexpected events, while still laying out your path for the holidays. Try as best you can to keep your usual daily schedule in place for the majority of the month, with the understanding that you probably won’t be able to follow that routine on the actual holidays themselves.


One of the biggest pressures of the holidays is the feeling like you need to find the perfect gift for everyone in your life. You might have that feeling that, if only you put a little bit more thought in or searched a little more that you will figure it out. I have a suggestion for you: release yourself from the tyranny of the perfect gift! The people in your life will appreciate your presents, no matter what they are. It’s truly the thought that counts. If you want something that says, “I know what you like” without putting too much energy into individual presents, believe me, gift cards can be a blessing.

But if you do want to go on a present hunt, I recommend avoiding the mall, especially around Black Friday or closer to the holidays. It can be absolutely crazy and overwhelming for some people with ADD/ADHD. Using a variety of online retailers, such as Amazon, can be a huge relief. You don’t have to worry about braving the crowds, online retailers cut out all of the stress by just send the presents to you!

Holiday Cards

This one’s a bit of a double-edged sword. If you have the ability to become hyper-focused on activities, then doing your holiday cards might be a snap. You just sit down, sign your name on them, put them in envelopes, slap on a stamp, and head down to the mailbox. If, on the other hand, your ADD/ADHD presents itself with a lack of focus and an inability to keep your mind on track, then writing out holiday cards can seem like an almost impossible task.

So try this instead: eCards. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sending all of your friends and loved ones your holiday wishes in email form. This method doesn’t require you to sit down and focus for hours on end. All you need to do is write out a lovely holiday greeting, maybe add some digital graphics, and send them to everyone on your email list. There are also a ton of online holiday card services that can send a more polished “card” to your friends and family, often for a cost less than that of physical postage stamps.


I actually talked a lot about a similar situation to the holiday dinner just a few weeks ago in ADD/ADHD Thanksgiving Management. I’ve always found it so odd that we pack the two big “family” cooking events so close together. You finally recover from the stress of one and BOOM, there is another one right behind.

One great way to cut down on the stress is to just not cook. If you have a big family, alternate Holiday and Thanksgiving dinners. That way, if you took care of Thanksgiving for your family, you can just head over to your relative or friend’s and gnaw on some turkey without any stress whatsoever!

Holiday Parties

Just say no.

Seriously, if you are feeling overwhelmed with the season, if you are having a bad day, if you are feeling scattered and the idea of heading out to a holiday party gives you chills, just say, “I’m sorry, I can’t make it. But I hope everyone has an amazing night!” It will instantly take the pressure off and you will feel much better.

Of course, this isn’t saying that you should use your ADD/ADHD as an excuse. If you genuinely want to go to a holiday party, even if you are feeling stressed out, then go! But don’t feel that you have to accept every holiday invitation that comes your way.

A lot of my holiday advice boils down to this, “Streamline the season”. When you have ADD/ADHD, you might feel like you want to do everything holiday related, but you just don’t have the time. By sitting down and taking stock of everything you NEED to do for the holidays, you can then figure out how much time you can invest in the things you WANT to do. Time-management: it’s the ADD/ADHD gift that keeps on giving!

If you’d like some more advice about how to manage the holidays when you have ADD/ADHD, please feel free to contact me. As an experienced ADD/ADHD coach, I’ve helped many people rediscover their love of the season, helping them figure out ways to get everything done. Remember, the holidays should be fun, so get rid of all of the unnecessary headaches and stresses and have a wonderful time!

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Strategies for Reading Books and Novels with ADD/ADHD


Strategies for Reading with ADD/ADHD

Have you ever picked up a book, fully intending to read it, only to lose interest just a few pages in? Or have you ever been reading a book then your mind starts to wander, you space out, and then you suddenly realize you’ve read three pages but don’t remember a thing?

Reading with ADD/ADHD can be very difficult. You may struggle with memory issues, or you may feel like reading just takes way, way too much time. As per usually with ADD/ADHD, your personal experience could be very different when it comes to reading books. Some folks with ADD/ADHD can hyperfocus, allowing them to plow through an entire book in record time. Others can barely read a chapter before completely losing interest. There are a few different ADD/ADHD strategies that you can use to help your reading comprehension and maybe even get you to the point where reading can feel like a fun leisure activity!

Reading for Pleasure

For some people, reading for pleasure is the ultimate escape. They can get into a good book like a warm bath, spending hours in another world. For others, reading for pleasure can be extraordinarily boring. It’s just words on a page, how do you get into that? If you have ADD/ADHD, there is a good chance that reading for pleasure can seem like far more work than it is worth. But there are a few strategies that can help you to enjoy the experience.

Similar to many ADD/ADHD strategies, proper scheduling and time-management is key. Just sitting down to read can be very difficult if it is completely unstructured time. Schedule your reading, like you would anything else in your day. Or, instead of sitting down to read for an hour, give yourself goals. Say, “I’m going to read two chapters today.” and stick with that. If you find your focus keeps getting broken, you should take frequent breaks.

Many people look down on comic books as just for kids, but that is a very limited point of view. There are brilliant works of fiction that have been written in comic book form, and they can be perfect for adults with ADD/ADHD (or anyone else for that matter). Fairytale works like “Bone” by Jeff Smith or the superhero-deconstruction comic “Watchmen” by Alan Moore are considered to be classics, well worth a read. The mixture of words and pictures can help someone with ADD/ADHD maintain their focus, as there is more stimulation on the page than just letters. And, as comic books are usually released in monthly issues, they are already divided into easily manageable chunks.


Struggling with reading can especially be a nightmare for students. The work can really pile up when you are in college or any other post-secondary education program, especially around exam time, making studying a major problem.

A great study tip is to make reading more active. Don’t just read the words on the page, try taking lots of notes as you read. Highlight things in a book to reinforce important passages. Reading out loud can be a great strategy for absorbing what you’re reading. It can be a bit slower, but if you really need to work to remember a passage, speaking it out loud will help you retain the information. Reading shouldn’t be a passive exercise, you should do things that help you get engaged with the words on the page.

Just like with reading for pleasure, make sure you schedule your reading and studying. Break everything up into more manageable chunks. If you find your attention wandering, move onto another subject rather than try to fruitlessly power through.


Audiobooks are fantastic. Yes, they are a completely different method of “reading” than picking up a book, but that doesn’t make them any less enjoyable.

The great thing about “reading” an audiobook is that you can multitask while you do it. Need to clean the house? Put on an audiobook to listen to while you tidy up. Want to go for a walk or have some exercise? Toss on a pair of headphones before you go.

If you find the audiobook is going a bit too slow for you, most audiobook apps (like Audible or Apple Books) allow you to speed up the audio without changing the pitch of the reader. So you will be able to get through the book faster without it sounding like Alvin and the Chipmunks are reading it to you.

Here is another little secret about reading: the more you read, the easier it will become. It’s like a muscle, by training your brain, you will be able to improve your reading comprehension and speed. This is true for both people with and without ADD/ADHD. At first, it can be quite a struggle to get through a book, but the more you read, the better you will become at it. As an experienced ADD/ADHD coach, and someone who loves books, I love to help people learn strategies that will increase their enjoyment of reading. Please feel free to contact me today and we can get you started on the path of greater focus and control over your ADD/ADHD, especially when it comes to words on a page!

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Are Video Games Good or Bad for ADD/ADHD


Are Video Games Good or Bad for ADD/ADHD

Do you remember way back when you were a kid if your parents who just didn’t understand why you had problems concentrating on homework or doing challenging time-management related tasks, but could literally sit in front of the TV for hours on end playing video games. Even as an adult, many with ADD/ADHD can play video games without having to worry about their attention wandering. This kind of behavior makes many people think, “Are video games “good” or “bad” for those who have ADD/ADHD?”

Over there years, there have been many people (especially parents) who actually BLAME video games for ADD/ADHD. Frankly, that kind of leap of “logic” makes me uncomfortable. There is absolutely no evidence that video games can cause ADD/ADHD. These conditions aren’t things that just happen to you. It isn’t something that can be afflicted on you, like a common cold. ADD/ADHD is the way someone’s brain is wired. Yes, video games can affect the way people think, but they cannot cause ADD/ADHD.

The main reason why video games can so effectively hold the attention of those with ADD/ADHD is because there is always something happening on the screen. There is no time to think. The second their mind starts to wander, there is suddenly another enemy or obstacle on screen that demands their attention. Action oriented video games aren’t one long, sustained activity. They are a number of very short, quick, sequential activities, each one recapturing the brain’s attention.

Of course, bundling all video games together would be a mistake. Just like with movies, books, and any other kind of entertainment, there are many different kinds of video games. There are the popular first-person shooters, which are extremely popular with many people who have ADD/ADHD due to their non-stop action. There are puzzle games, like Picross or the ever-popular Tetris, which can occupy the mind and focus it onto the puzzle until it is solved. And there are role-playing games, like Final Fantasy, or adventure games like Monkey Island. These types of games tend to be much more laid back and relaxed, with a focus on story rather than fast reactions and explosions, which can make them difficult for someone with ADD/ADHD to focus on.

Some experts have suggested that video games, in moderation, can actually be helpful for those with ADD/ADHD. Concentrating on video games, even if it is easier than concentrating on homework or other task, still requires effort. This can help anyone with ADD/ADHD learn HOW to focus and maintain that level of concentration over time.  

Regardless of if you have ADD/ADHD or not, you should always make sure you put a limit on the amount of time you spend in front of a screen. Video games can be addictive, as they are entirely based on a reward system. It can be very easy to slip into the world of a video game, a world where many of the stresses and problems that weigh on people with ADD/ADHD simply don’t exist. Before you start playing, set an alarm on your phone to alert you after an hour has passed. It’s very important that you keep conscious of time while you play, and alarms can be an effective way of doing so. That said, unless you are genuinely seeing a problem, you shouldn’t unnecessarily stress yourself out. Playing video games is just something that we do and have since the 1970s. Yes, the games are far more sophisticated, but the essentials are the same. They are fun!

I have to be honest, video games can be tricky. I’ve seen good come out of them and bad. It really depends on how the ADD/ADHD presents itself and how the video game affects the person. That said, there are far more effective ways to manage your ADD/ADHD, in a way that will allow you to better live your life away from the screen. As an experienced ADD/ADHD coach, I can help you learn these strategies. Please feel free to contact me today to learn more about how we can help you improve your concentration, time management skills, and take back control of your life!

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Turkey, Thanksgiving, and ADD/ADHD


Turkey Thanksgiving and ADD/ADHD

It’s the season to be thankful, and yet so many people are stressed out. Why? It’s often because of the dreaded Thanksgiving Dinner!

Thanksgiving is a tradition practiced all over the world, in one form or another. It’s a time to gather together to be thankful for all of the blessings of life, food, and family. Of course, actually cooking the darned dinner can be an incredibly difficult task, especially for someone with ADD/ADHD. If you find yourself hosting Thanksgiving this year, there are a number of strategies that you can put into play to save yourself some massive headaches and stressful situations, while still ending up with a delicious meal on the table.

Cooking the Dinner

Many people have compared cooking a successful Thanksgiving dinner to planning a military mission. Everything is on a strict timetable and and one mistake could imperil the entire mission. No pressure, huh?

If you have ADD/ADHD and are planning on taking on Thanksgiving by yourself, there are a number of things you can do to help you keep on track. Make sure you have an exhaustive to-do list of everything you need to keep in mind. This should include the full grocery list, a list of finished dishes, the number of steps required to make them, and the times everything needs to go in and out. In this case, setting a multitude of alarms on your phone can be very useful to help keep everything on track.

Another helpful hint is to start on Thanksgiving dinner a day or two before. Pies are actually better the second day, so if you are planning on making one, do it then. Just throw it in the oven the next day for a few minutes prior to serving and nobody will be the wiser!

Split the Work

But here is the reality. ADD/ADHD or not, EVERYBODY freaks out about Thanksgiving dinner. It’s just one of those stressful scenarios that most people dread. One of the best ways to take the pressure off is to split the work. Tell your family, “Ok, I’ll cook the turkey if you make the potatoes and sides.” This will allow you to simply focus in on one single thing rather than try to keep every ball in the air at once.

Forget About the Cooking, Just Order In!

This suggestion might seem a bit taboo. Order in Thanksgiving dinner? From a restaurant?! Heavens!

But let’s face it, Thanksgiving requires a tremendous amount of focus and energy. Not just for the cooking, but also for the hours of spending time with your friends and family before and after dinner. There is a reason that everyone walks away from Thanksgiving feeling exhausted. There are many fantastic restaurants out there that would be happy to provide your entire Thanksgiving feast with all of the fixings for a very reasonable price. If the idea of spending hours in the kitchen trying to balance cooking times so everything is finished perfectly for dinner, well… Just don’t do it and buy your meal elsewhere!

Dealing with Family

Of course, for many people, the headache of Thanksgiving isn’t dealing with the food, it is dealing with the family. Even if we love our families, we might have strong disagreements with them about politics, the world, and personal choices. If you are recently diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, you might have to field multiple “helpful” pieces of advice from those sitting around the table. One of the best suggestions I’ve ever heard is that, prior to dinner, everyone agrees to give the most level-headed member of the family veto power. If any topic is getting a little too heated around the table, that family member can simply say “Vetoed!” and that will be the end of that conversation. This can be especially helpful if anyone gets into a position where they feel like blurting out something that could escalate the situation.

If your ADD/ADHD is acting up or you simply need a minute to yourself… my advice is take one. Just get up, make an excuse like, “I’ve been in the kitchen all day, I just need a little fresh air for a few minutes,” and remove yourself from the situation for as long as you need.


Thanksgiving can be incredibly stressful, no matter who you are. For someone with ADD/ADHD, Thanksgiving can provide a number of unique challenges. The best strategy of handling the entirety of Thanksgiving is to plan well, have a schedule and alarms, and make sure that you practice self-care and remove yourself from stressful situations. As an experienced ADD/ADHD coach, and a survivor of more than one stressful Thanksgiving dinner, please feel free to contact me today to talk about how your condition impacts your relationship with your family, friends, and your ability to plan events such as Thanksgiving.  

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The Importance of ADD/ADHD Self-Discovery


The Importance of ADD/ADHD Self-Discovery

“Self-discovery” has somehow earned itself a bad name.

Over the last 30 or so years, self-discovery has become a bit of a buzzword for every self-help guru out there. Many people claim that it is the solution to every problem in life. Others claim that self-discovery will lead to a particular branch of spirituality. Most, though certainly not all, of them are trying to lead you down the path of their own particular system of self-help. You want to know my opinion about self-discovery: it is about YOU.

Self-discovery is exactly that. It is when you take time to examine truths about yourself, maybe even coming to some realizations about your virtues and flaws that you’ve never thought of before. It is truly one of the most pure forms of “self-help” out there because you are the one who does all of the work. Yes, guides and coaches can be very useful to help facilitate these discoveries (I wouldn’t be an ADD/ADHD coach if I didn’t believe that) but the real work has to come from you.

Self-discovery can be difficult enough for someone with a “normal” brain, but for someone with ADD/ADHD, it can be especially tough. For many people with the condition, they’ve been told their entire lives that something is wrong with them. That they have an affliction that needs to be treated or suppressed. This kind of negative reinforcement can cause massive amounts of self-doubt, even in adults. You can imagine (or have lived through) what children with ADD/ADHD have to deal with. Being told that there is something wrong with you can impede self-discovery and make it into something that many people don’t want to face. But believe me, the only way you will be able to make it through to the other side will be to do the work and learn about yourself.

Self-discovery for those with ADD/ADHD will obviously have a lot to do with how they perceive their condition. Everyone’s ADD/ADHD is a little bit different, with some cases being far more severe than others. A part of your journey of self-discovery might include coming to terms with your ADD/ADHD and simply accepting it as part of who you are. For many people, this conclusion can bring them a measure of peace as they stop “fighting” against it and instead start to “manage” it. For others, self-discovery might include redefining their condition. For example, some people consider their ADD/ADHD to be a literal superpower, an ability to hyper-focus on something in a way that most people cannot.

There are so many different paths of self-discovery out there. Yours might include a spiritual component. For example, Zen puts a heavy emphasis on self-discovery. You might find your method of self-discovery to be in meditation or yoga. Physical fitness is another way that you can bring clarity to your mind, so maybe your path to self-discovery might include running, biking, or weight-lifting.

Of course, a tried and true method of self-discovery involves working with a coach who is experienced in helping guide people to their truth. As an experienced ADD/ADHD coach, I know the difficulties that people with the condition have to face and I can help you navigate them. If you’d like to book an appointment so I can help you on your road to ADD/ADHD self-discovery, please feel free to contact me today. No matter what road of self-discovery you choose, finding your own personal balance between ADD/ADHD and the life you desire is possible, and the work always begins with self-discovery!

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ADD/ADHD When You Live in a Small Town


ADHD/ADD When you Live in a Small Town

Your environment will always play a huge part in determining the state of your mental health. From your immediate home life to the city/town where you live, the energy and feel of that place can greatly impact your general mood and state of mind. Sometimes, if you find yourself living in a place where you just don’t feel comfortable or happy, a change of scene can make a huge difference in your ability to manage your ADD/ADHD.

Many people say that living in large cities can actually be damaging to your mental health, but small towns aren’t necessarily much better. It all depends on what kind of person that you are. Small towns offer many benefits that big cities do not, but also many drawbacks. This can especially be true to an ADD/ADHD sufferer.

Pro: More Affordable Housing

Small towns can be much less expensive than living in big cities. In larger cities, simply paying your rent can take up a majority of your monthly income. If you want to live in a nice apartment in a safe neighborhood, while still have enough room not to feel cramped, it is unlikely that you will be able to find a place for under $1500 in some cities. If you are living on a fixed income, this can be a huge financial burden and stress on your mental health.

In a small town, rent is usually much cheaper. Not only that, if you have a decently paying job, you might be able to afford an actual house, rather than simply a small condo. If you are someone who wants a place that you can call your own, have room to spread out, and still keep money in the bank, a small town can offer you far more affordable housing.

Con: Much Less to Do

Living in the city offers those with ADD/ADHD one major benefit: there is always a ton to do. There are so many more businesses, activities, shopping centers, events… If you are someone who needs stimulation, a big city can offer it in spades.

In a small town, things are more… let’s say, laid back. Almost every small town has basic amenities, like a movie theater, a mall, restaurants, etc. But your amusement choices will be far more limited than if you are living in a city. There are usually events, festivals, and other community activities throughout the year, but with far less variety and choice than you would have in a bigger city.

Pro: Peace and Quiet

The flip side of the “less to do” coin is that, well, there is less to do! You don’t have constant, overwhelming stimulation coming at you from all sides. In a small town, you can go out for a walk and not see a soul. For someone with ADD/ADHD who is in search for a sense of calm, this can be a godsend.

This really does depend on how your ADD/ADHD presents. For some people, peace and quiet can allow them to focus on their condition and mental health. It offers them a chance to remove themselves from the stresses of the big city and instead work on themselves.

Con: Less Access to Medical and Mental Health Support

Now, that isn’t knocking small town hospitals. Many small towns offer fantastic medical and mental health support systems, but few offer specialization. If you are someone who is suffering from a severe case of ADD/ADHD, you might not be able to find the necessary support in a small town for your condition. You could always commute to a big city, but that can be expensive and exhausting.

The internet can offer valuable mental health support to those with ADD/ADHD who live in small towns. Although I believe that one-on-one personal coaching is one of the best ways to help take control of your condition, being able to reach out across the internet to mental health coaches and professionals can be game-changing for some who live in small towns.


So, should you consider living in a small town if you have ADD/ADHD? That completely depends on who you are and what you need. Some people absolutely love the calm and slower pace of small towns, as it allows them to catch their breath and concentrate on themselves. Others might find it absolutely, mind-numbingly boring. If you are considering a big change of scene in your near future and want to talk about the potentials pros and cons of moving to a small town, please feel free to book an ADD/ADHD coaching session with me. Together, we can examine your current life, what you feel that you need out of your immediate environment, and help you make an informed decision that is right for you and your specific case of ADD/ADHD.

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